Big talk

My mom and I are different in many ways – so much so in fact, that she often remarks “where did you come from?!”. Yet we have this apparent paradox in common – we are introverts who love connecting with people.

I would classify myself as an introvert because in general I restore my energy best while being alone, as opposed to going out with groups of people.

Yet I often find myself most energized and inspired after a solid gab-fest with friends. And not only close friends, but also new acquaintances who I truly connect with.

So perhaps it’s not so much the people that exhaust me, but the inconsequential drivel of fleeting conversation. It is, in fact, connection that I crave.

The end of a New York Times article from last week has stuck with me – titled “The End of Small Talk” by Tim Boomer. He writes:

“Why can’t we replace small talk with big talk and ask each other profound questions right from the start? Replace mindless chatter about commuting times with a conversation about our weightiest beliefs and most potent fears? Questions that reveal who we are and where we want to go?”

I am planning to employ some of his suggestions – instead of asking “where have you travelled?” I’ll ask “what place most inspired you and why?”. Instead of asking “what do you do for work?”, I’ll ask “what work are you passionate about?”.

What do you think?

Read the full article here:
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/01/17/fashion/dating-the-end-of-small-talk.html?referer=

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